Hello there - it’s me again. Remember me? I’ve been longing for you and missing you forever. I was hoping we would be together by now, but we’re not. I feel like I’m doing everything possible to get to you and it seems impossible these days. I have all my seasonal clothes unpacked, tossed all over my room, and to be honest it’s pretty depressing knowing you’re still so far away. I have some important things to tell you, so listen up.
I’ve been under a lot of pressure to be with you these days, not only from outsiders, but from myself as well. Everywhere I look there are others with their perfect beach bodies; and it makes me feel so alone. Magazines, TV, Instagram, and Facebook all throw it in my face that the sun is out and wearing little-to-no clothing while sporting a perfect 6 pack is what is socially acceptable and perceived as “beautiful” right now. This does severe damage to my self-esteem when I’m sporting an extra 40 pounds and no tan. I take all my feelings of loneliness and low self-confidence and I let it eat at me. I’m trying as hard as ever to be with you, but it hurts me too much. So I’m writing this to tell you something very important, to give you a piece of my mind.
I’m beautiful, with or without you. Getting to you overnight, maybe in the next few months even, is not realistic, and I’m not going to feel lonely or depressed about this any longer. I’m putting myself first, my feelings that is. I’m going to continue to make small changes in my life every week that will improve my well being. I will remind myself that my current body was and is lived in...meaning that I’m not with you because of stress, the winter months spent indoors, because I had children, and all the other circumstances that happen in life. Let’s face it, life is not perfect and neither am I, but I will still strive to live the healthiest days I possibly can, because I love myself. I will not be beating myself up this summer because I am not with you - my superficial Summer body. I will be loving myself for who I am. I will eat right, exercise, sleep for at least 6 hours a night, and I will be drinking lots and lots of water. I will be happy and I will be outside enjoying the sun, whether the tags in my clothes say size 2 or size 12.
Maybe we will be together someday, but irregardless, I will no longer allow you to dictate my happiness or derail my self worth. You are no longer my priority...I am, and I’m going to feel great without you.